Mama

It was eleven years ago today that my mama went to be with Jesus. After suffering for years with the chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, mama had been diagnosed in January 2007 with lung cancer. Now many people every day receive the news of this kind of diagnosis, we hear about it all the time, but it becomes very personal when it's your loved one. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt I absolutely hate cancer!

I want to tell you a little bit about my mama. Mama was born with a cleft lip, she was raised by a single father, with the help of two older siblings. (I know if you read my last blog, I talked about my godly grandma Reynolds, but grandma didn't come to Jesus till later in life.) Mama married fairly young and she and her husband moved around quite a lot. They had four daughters all of which are my older half sisters. Mama worked as a waitress. When her girls were between the ages of three and twelve their dad her husband was murdered. A year or so later, she met and married my father, and nine months later I was born. So, five girls! (I, of course, was the baby and in my mind and story, I was the favorite! My middle sister Linda would argue, so in fairness, I share the title "mama's favorite" with her!)

Mama lived a life filled with love for her family especially her girls.  Unfortunately, it was also a life filled with hurt and rejection as well. She was married to my father for eleven years, I am not going to say that the whole marriage was bad, or filled with turmoil, I am certain there were some good times.  Mama shared with me later in life, the thing that she wanted so desperately from my father was to be shown that he loved her. She often remarked that our family dog received more affection from him than she did. To be shown love is really what we all want, for someone to love us and to show that love to us without having to beg for it. My father was not and still is not an affectionate man, he is sort of hard man and does not show love or emotion. Mama received divorce papers when I was eleven, I remember the day, we were sitting in the backyard, that mama had just finished mowing. She was a hard worker, taking care of our big ole yard, with pretty flowers and fruit trees. The constable drove up and served her with the papers. I remember her sitting out in the yard just crying, I tried to console her the best I could but at eleven I was very unsure what it all meant.  She told me she would lean on Jesus for strength, mama had become a Christian in her late 20's to early 30's, from the time I was born we had always been raised in the church. I remember her reading her Bible and praying, listening to gospel music and watching TV evangelist.

A few years after the divorce mama remarried again, and unfortunately, it was not a great marriage either. Mama suffered from depression, and insecurity she didn't like being alone.  Mama, prayed a lot, she became a prayer warrior, you could count on her to pray for you and any issue you requested for prayer. Despite all the hurt, rejection, and loss mama suffered she was still a strong woman. She loved her family more than anything this side of heaven. (She also loved the Dallas Cowboys especially Roger Staubach! She sometimes felt the need to help Tom Landry coach the team from our living room as well!)  She could have used her past and pain to be a bitter woman but she didn't, she was kind, loving and gentle. She believed what the bible says, in Matthew 17:20 "He replied,  "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, Nothing will be impossible for you." Mama believed the Bible, she believed that even just a little faith could move mountains.

I miss my mama terribly, but she is the wind beneath my wings that pushes me to pursue Jesus, to share with others the love of Jesus to share that faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.

I know I am not the only one in the world who has lost a parent or loved one, I know many of you have as well. I just want you to know, Jesus is our comforter, he will comfort you, and give you peace. In Philippians 4:7 the word of God says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This world is full of hurt, sorrow, depression, and loss but beloved, Jesus came to give us life in Him. You can trust Jesus with all your hurt, He is the great comforter and will love you like no other. He loves us all so much that he lay down his own life for us. In I John 3:16 it says, "By this, we know love, that he laid down his life for us." 

I believe if mama could have left a message for the world it would have been this, love Jesus, put your faith in Jesus even if your faith is as small as a mustard seed, love your family, pray for one another, do not let the hurts and losses in this life make you bitter let them make you better.

Thank you, Jesus, for being our comfort, our peace in the hurts, losses and just plain old hard times. Jesus, we want to have faith even if it is as small as a mustard seed,  please help us where we have any unbelief. Jesus, comfort those who are hurting from the loss of a loved one.